It has been two weeks since I went through yet another horrific ordeal brought about by some risky behavior. Let me just say though that I have been significantly careful since my last test, but I do understand that it still didn't completely eliminate the risks--not that I intend to live a saintly life anytime soon.
I'm grateful and happy about the result but I think it's a continuous battle. I've had the tendency to get really paranoid especially since a friend recently admitted to being positive (it was actually what really pushed me to finally check my status again), but I think you can't be too cautious, can you? Or do you risk missing out? There's a part of me that is convinced I should just totally avoid getting myself in risky situations but another part of me believes that I should live to the fullest and that involves taking risks.
In any case, it's good to always remember that no one is worth the trauma of not just the ailment itself but also the major mind-fuck that comes with getting tested knowing that you didn't protect yourself enough. Going there, Facetime-ing with family who were oblivious about the shit I was going through, while waiting for the result, was not fun at all--one of the most horribly surreal moments in my life.
I'm in serious need of a beach trip. This heat is just never good unless it comes with sand and sea!
I've been working remotely for four weeks now because we're in the process of moving to a different office so I've had some time to go on vacation. I did manage to squeeze in a Boracay trip two weeks ago when I went home but my tan is almost gone and I don't want to spend the rest of my time in the city. I have had enough of staying home, watching 'Hair Battle Spectacular' right before indulging in 'Sex and the City' reruns every afternoon while sweating like a pig. I turn on the AC but only once in a while because I'm trying to avoid electric (bill) shock. On Monday, we're back to regular programming at work, which means I only have a few free days left for frolicking in the glory of summer global warming.
I'm pretty much done with work so I've been revisiting the past by reading my old entries and boy has it been entertaining. I'm so glad I had most aspects my life chronicled until, of course, last year when I started to neglect this little online diary. So, in an effort to keep this journal alive, here I am, blogging from work.
Out of the subjects I've discussed here, I think it's the flames that I've had that really provided the most interesting material. I also realized blogging about such encounters allowed me to keep tabs of the type and number of guys I've met, which, I have a feeling, will be beneficial in the long run. So allow me to recall some of my attempts to find (or not) "the one" within the past months.
Let's see. There's that young interior designer from late last year with whom I reunited lately. There's John, someone I had hoped to see again - I just didn't expect it last week when I did, at The Fort. It didn't end well. No. Then there's that balikbayan guy from Australia that I met in Boracay. There's K who kicked off this year's dating life for with me. He was nice but not interested enough for another rendezvous, it seems. There's that one who came to my place but didn't even get past the staircase only because I didn't think it was worth it. Then the Valentine's Day guy. Ugh. I kind of regret that. Another bad idea came in the form of the Japanese-inspired one who lives near Rockwell. That wasn't worth it. Then of course, there's that recent reunion with that guy from last year. He's a controversial case. He breaks my heart and melts it at the same time.
I'm close to a meltdown. Work has been super stressful lately. Between writing and styling, there seems to be nothing going right. Ok, maybe that sounds ungrateful. I need a breather. No, I need to work on that revision and get those pull-outs. Oh, fuck it.
I don't know about you but Twitter killed the blogger in me. And then there's Instagram. Also, I've been writing for a living so I've pretty much exhausted my vocabulary by the end of the day. I miss blogging but it doesn't seem to be as appealing to me as it used to be. Hopefully, I'd have that eagerness towards yapping about random stuff here once again.